Retrain your brain overview

Recently, I’ve been researching deeper into psychology and different therapeutic approaches. One of the books I picked up is Retrain Your Brain which offers a structured way to apply Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) principles.

The book is a combination of a textbook and a workbook – as much as I don’t like to scribble on books, the contents are good nevertheless.

In this blog, as is usual, I’ll write a detailed overview about the book.

The book is divided in two parts:

First 25%: Covers the theoretical foundations of CBT.
Remaining 75%: A structured 7-week program that includes brief theory sections accompanied by actionable exercises, such as homework, checklists, pros/cons lists, and practical tools.

Theory (first two chapters)

In the first half of the twentieth century, psychoanalysis was widely used. However, in the second half, CBT started gaining popularity. Psychoanalysis focused on unconscious processes and was long-term, whereas CBT emerged as a short-term, practical solution backed by research, and inspired by behavioral therapy (Pavlov, Skinner) and cognitive therapy (Beck, Ellis).

CBT is a widely used, evidence-based approach that integrates two key components:

Behaviorism: Focuses on conditioning, habit formation, and exposure techniques to help individuals face their fears.
Cognitive Therapy: Emphasizes how changing our thoughts can influence our feelings and behaviors. For example, interpreting a fear differently can shift how we experience it.

This combination creates a practical, action-driven approach to mental well-being by forming better habits and increasing self-awareness of the thoughts-feelings-behaviors triangle. CBT especially challenges automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) that lead to emotional distress. Other common cognitive distortions are:

All-or-Nothing Thinking (“If I fail at this, I’m a complete failure.”)
Catastrophizing (Expecting the worst possible outcome.)
Mind Reading (Assuming you know what others think about you.)
Overgeneralization (“This always happens to me.”)
Personalization (Blaming yourself for things outside your control.)

Think of a situation where you felt a strong emotion, such as anxiety or sadness. Briefly describe it.

Situation: _______________

Using the diagram below, write down the following:

What I felt: _______________

What I thought: _______________

What I did: _______________

This exercise helps in identifying patterns in thoughts, emotions, and actions, providing a starting point for change.
Sample CBT exercise

Write down the negative thought.

Identify the emotion it triggers.

Find evidence supporting it.

Find evidence against it.

Create a more balanced thought.

Reframing negative thoughts exercise

CBT is not about thinking happy thoughts. It’s not about ignoring reality, but changing unhelpful thought patterns to be more realistic and productive. Its effectiveness lies in the following key features:

Time-limited: Focuses on a structured timeline rather than open-ended sessions.
Evidence-based: Backed by extensive research.
Goal-oriented: Targets specific issues rather than general talk therapy.
Collaborative: Encourages active participation between therapist and client.
Structured: Sessions follow a clear framework.
Focused on the here and now: Prioritizes present challenges rather than living in the past.
Practice-driven: Emphasizes continuous application of learned techniques.

Its structured and practical approach allows one to easily improve on:

Breaking negative loops: Helps disrupt unhelpful thought patterns and behaviors, allowing positive reinforcement to take over.
Targeted sessions: Focus on one or two key areas at a time.
Consistent practice: Reinforces positive changes through repetition.

Week 1 – Setting your goals and getting started

Every person experiences things differently, so we can’t just tell them “here, use this exercise” – we need to really understand the core issue. This initial phase involves a thorough self-assessment to identify areas of life that are functioning well and those that require improvement.

Basic human needs (a lot of research supports this):

Autonomy – decide for ourselves what to do
Relatedness – meaningful connections to other people
Competence – we’re good at what we do and put talents to use

Various questions from different exercises to raise self-awareness. Think of your thoughts/feelings/behaviors while answering.

You. What brought you in therapy? What are you good at? What do people appreciate you about?
Relationships. What’s going well in your relationships? Where do you struggle? What effects has your anxiety had on your family? Do you have a strong group of friends?
Education/career. How are things for you in your work life? Do you love your work? Find it meaningful? Or are you bored?
Faith/meaning. What gives you a sense of purpose? What moves you? What are your passions?
Physical health. Do you care about your physical health? What is your relationship with your body like? Do you get regular physical activity?
Alcohol. What role does alcohol or other substances play in your life?
Food. Do you routinely eat out of boredom?
Sleep. How have you been sleeping? Too much? Too little? Any problems falling asleep or staying asleep?
Domestic responsibilities. Are you able to take care of your daily responsibilities? Any issues between you and your partner/roommate?

This is just a snippet from some of the questions. Answering those allows one to see where they are. By reflecting on these life domains, one starts to see connections—perhaps stress at work affects their relationships, or poor sleep influences their anxiety. Identifying these links is the first step in making meaningful changes.

A follow-up is “how do you want your life to be different and in which areas?” This will help setting the proper goals. A small goal-setting exercise:

Think about an area of your life you want to improve.

What is one small change you can make this week?

What obstacles might come up?

What would success look like?

In addition, logging one’s activities is also important, preferably hourly. Filling this log helps uncover hidden habits (e.g. spending too much time on social media).

Time (hour)

Activity

Enjoyment (0-10)

Importance (0-10)

There is nothing magic about change; it is hard work. If clients do not act in their own behalf, nothing happens.
Gerard Egan

Week 2 – Getting back to life

In this week, last week’s plan is put into action. CBT tackles both thoughts and behaviors, but change often starts with action since we have more control over what we do than how we feel. Engaging in enjoyable activities can create positive momentum, even if it’s challenging at first. Taking action often leads to feeling better, which is why CBT emphasizes behavior first—our actions shape our emotions, not the other way around.

For example, we don’t need to know the exact cause of depression to start feeling better—in fact, overanalyzing it can make one feel worse, while taking action and engaging in positive activities is the fastest path to recovery.

“What should I do?” The short answer is that the activity needs to be rewarding and provide some value. Logging one’s activities helps here.

Example case analysis of Kat’s choices when getting an invitation:

Case 1: Go out -> Discomfort, high effort (short-term effect) -> Build rewarding relationships (long-term effect)
Case 2: Stay in -> Comfort, low effort (short-term effect) -> Continued loneliness

There are three main steps to proceed forward:

Identify your values in the areas examined last week
Choose activities that align with them
Take action to integrate them into your life

Note that activities low in both enjoyment and importance don’t align with one’s values, and meaningful change comes from small, simple steps rather than grand gestures. Besides that, one should aim to create accountability – by telling others they will do something.

Values & activities form: For each area (relationships, friends, etc.), come up with a value, and several activities related to it. For example, Value could be “Beautifying my living situation” and Activities “Weed the front garden”, “Plant flowers”, etc.

Week 3 – Identifying your thought patterns

“What went well from the previous week activities? What can be improved?”

A common response at this point in the program is: “I did my activities, but I didn’t feel any better.” If that happened for you, well done. That means you stuck to your plan. If you did get a lift from doing the things you planned, that’s great. Either way, keep going.

Our emotions are often shaped by how we interpret events, not just the events themselves. We naturally create stories to explain situations, which can lead to different emotional reactions. For example, if we see a friend’s anger as irrational, we feel irritated; if we assume it’s our fault, we feel guilty. Since these thoughts happen automatically, we often mistake them for reality, making it difficult to question them. Recognizing and evaluating our thoughts is crucial, as it helps us break unhelpful emotional patterns.

More exercises that help identify thought patterns.

Recall a recent event that triggered an unpleasant emotion, visualize it clearly, and briefly describe the situation and your feelings.

Recall a moment that made you feel down or depressed. What thoughts crossed your mind?

Event: _____

Thoughts: _____

Emotions: _____

The same exercises can be applied to identify anxieties, panics, fears, depression, etc.

The week’s exercise is to pay attention to times when one notices changes in their mood, ideally in “real time”. The more one practices identifying the thought patterns, the more control they gain over their emotions.

Week 4 – Breaking negative thought patterns

Review previous week activity. “Was anything different than what was expected? What have you learned from the activities?”

Our thoughts help us plan, reflect, evaluate, and relive memories, but they aren’t always accurate—we misinterpret situations, predict outcomes incorrectly, and misunderstand others’ intentions. While some thoughts align with reality and serve us well, others distort it and lead to unnecessary stress. The good news is that we can evaluate our own thinking and recognize when our thoughts are misleading.

Recall a time when you believed something that later proved false, and describe it below.

Errors in thinking: irrational (doesn’t make sense), dysfunctional (don’t serve us well), biased (one-sided), distorted (don’t reflect reality).

A two-column exercise is given “Evidence for my thought” and “Evidence against my thought”. Then, this two-column exercise is merged together with the event/thought/emotion diagram to form another exercise. Like composing functions in programming 🙂

When examining thoughts, one should consider: Am I ignoring evidence that contradicts them? Am I making things seem worse than they are? What advice would I give to someone I care about if they had this thought?

Breaking the loop: “There go my thoughts”, “OK back to reality”, “Thank goodness that isn’t true”, etc.

The goal in questioning our negative thoughts is not to convince ourselves that nothing is our fault. Rather, we want to see ourselves more clearly.

Week 5 – Time and task management

Review of previous exercises – how did they go? Is there a core theme? Carefully choose five more activities you want to do next. Plan them wisely in your calendar.

Take a few moments to think about your own time management. What do you tend to do well in managing your time? What strategies work well for you?
_______________________________
_______________________________
Are there also areas where you struggle with managing your time? Do you feel constantly rushed, or like everything you do takes too long? Is it hard to decide how best to spend your time? Do you find yourself putting things off as long as possible? Write your reflections in the space below.
_______________________________
_______________________________
Sample exercises

If a task (project) seems to big, break it down. Basic principles:

Identify the tasks
Prioritize the tasks
Plan when to complete them
Follow through on completing them: Just do it.

I can’t stop thinking about this while reading the book and learning more about CBT, and there it is, pretty explicit 🙂

Sometimes this approach can feel overly structured

Followed by an exercise:

Take a few moments to reflect on the process so far. How are you feeling about this approach? Write your reflections in the space below.

The word “I’ll try” can mean different things – “I want”/”I hope” or really try. The more active one makes their trying, the more they set themselves up to succeed.

Few more tips:

Build accountability (this was mentioned earlier)
Decide to start – Any tasks you delayed? What made you do that?
Reward yourself – We’re more likely to do things when they lead to reward
Make space – Both physical (e.g. organizing desk) and mental (e.g. removing distractions)
Practice acceptance – Sometimes it’ll be “I’ll just do this right now”, but sometimes, following the plan will be difficult. And that’s ok
- “When you meet your edge and are tempted to avoid, what can you tell yourself to encourage acceptance of the inevitable discomfort?”
Keep motivated
- “What have you found increases your motivation to complete tasks?”

Week 6 – Facing your fears

Before facing fears, review your successes and challenges on how the past three goals went: completing enjoyable activities, addressing problematic thoughts, managing time.

Take a moment to think about your own fears. Do they get in the way of living your life to the fullest?
___________

We experience fear when we have an expectation that something is dangerous. Facing/confronting our fears diminishes that effect. It’s not to say that nothing is dangerous, there’s risk in everything we do. But if it affects one’s way of life, then it may become a deeper issue.

Think of a time you faced your fears and they diminished, and write about it in the space below.
__________

Facing fear should be done progressively, starting small in the beginning. The following table may help one know better where to start.

Activity	Distress level (0-10)
Giving a presentation at work	9
Speaking up in team meetings	6

“I understand the idea of exposure,” Julie told me as we were planning which activities to begin with, “but why am I afraid of the things I’m already doing? I mean, it’s not like I never talk in group meetings, and I tell my supervisor my ideas.”
“Can you tell me about a time recently when you spoke in a group meeting?” I asked.
“Sure,” she said, “Kevin asked each of us to give an update on how our project was going. When my turn came, I was really nervous, but I said what I had to and felt like I did an okay job.”
“Is that how it usually goes?” I asked her. “When you speak up, is it usually because you have to, or do you do it voluntarily?”

Exposure needs to be done intentionally to be most effective.

The therapy comes in repeating the activities until we start to feel more comfortable doing them.

As we work through our hierarchy, it’s important that we stay in a situation long enough to learn something new.

Facing our fears is uncomfortable, but embracing that discomfort reduces its power over us.

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than one’s fear.
Ambrose Redmoon

Facing fear of fear. Become more aware of the activity and sensations linked to it:

Activity	Sensation
Breathing through a coffee stirrer for 1 minute	Feelings of suffocation
Taking 10 fast, deep breaths	Hyperventilation; numbness in extremities; feeling “unreal”

Opening to Panic. Trying not to panic often has the paradoxical effect of creating more panic. For many people, the most powerful antidote to panic is being willing to panic. Some people even describe a mind-set of “Bring it on.” When we’re willing to have a panic attack, it makes us dread panic less—and it makes a panic attack less likely.

CBT for social anxiety uses exposure exercises to test anxious beliefs. Julie feared her coworkers would be bored but observed neutral reactions, proving her fears unfounded.

Consider a social situation you fear and what you’re afraid might happen when you confront it. How could you set up an exposure to test your predictions?
__________

Julie improved her social presence by dropping safety behaviors, which can worsen social anxiety. Examples include hiding shaking hands, over-rehearsing, avoiding self-disclosure, and relying on alcohol. What are your own safety behaviors?

When you’re in uncomfortable social situations, how much of your attention is directed toward yourself and how you’re coming across, versus on the other person? If you find yourself being focused on yourself, what effects have you noticed?

Worrying often masks deeper fears, but avoiding them strengthens their hold. Confronting, or accepting fears directly can make them less intimidating.

To address imaginary fears, one can acknowledge their fears without living in it, and then refocus on the present through sensory experiences. This puts emphasis on reality rather than avoidance.

Week 7 – Putting it all together

This chapter focuses on integrating the skills and insights gained throughout. This involves identifying the activities that bring joy and productivity, recognizing and challenging unhelpful thoughts, and employing effective time management strategies.

Contains additional reflection exercises, like:

What went well with your exposures? Where did you find yourself struggling?
What made facing your fear worthwhile?
What have you found helpful in observing your thoughts over the past period? Any thoughts that stand out? Any ongoing challenges?
If you struggled with getting things done, what stood in the way?
Think back over the past six weeks. Does any event stand out that makes you feel like you’re moving in the right direction?
There is no limit to how much we can grow. In what areas do you still want to make progress?

It’s easy to neglect activities that keep us well. When mood drops or anxiety rises, review your plan to refocus. Return to your own summaries as needed.