Tenses II

Some five years ago, I blogged about Tenses, claiming that while we should enjoy the present, we should also value our experiences and enjoy our plans for the future.

Lately, I have dedicated much time to learning more about different psychotherapeutic approaches and how they approach timeโ€”how they help us process the past, engage with the present, and prepare for the future. What’s the commonality between all psychotherapies? And how do Tenses relate to them?

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Introducing Psychoanalysis (graphic guide) overview

Recently I bought this book. It’s small (170 pages), easy to read, and filled with images, like a comic strip.

In some cases, it only briefly touches on many big ideas, so prior knowledge helps, but you can always look up concepts for more depth.

Nevertheless, it’s a nice book that contains a lot of important ideas!

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On Confidence

I recently had a discussion with a coworker around the topic of confidence.

They are very smart – they identify and see problems, come up with great solutions, but often they double-check things with me to ensure that I see what they see and that it is correct. Nothing wrong about that kind of validation. I just told them “I wish you were more confident”, to which they responded “Confidence comes with past success”. And here is where I disagreed ๐Ÿ™‚

The problem with “Confidence comes with past success” is that it is an easy trap for boosting the ego. The trap of “I have already done enough, I have set my image, everybody knows who I am, I must look smart and can’t look stupid”. We should cherish and be happy with our past successes, but we should always be hungry for more. And we should keep staying in the now. That is, we should:

Build confidence on the things that are happening in the now, not that have happened in the past.

Or, more concretely: Build motivation/confidence on current ongoing projects, not past projects.

This mindset will help you stay modest and open to new adventures. It encourages continuous learning, even if it is a problem similar to what you worked on in the past. Each situation brings unique elements – different timing, people, and dynamics – offering fresh and new experiences, always something to learn from.

Try optimizing for that and see what happens!