A few days ago, anxiety had another message for me.

I felt overwhelmed. I asked myself — is this cognitive overload (fixable only with prayer or surrender), or something else? I realized I still had energy for awareness.

My thoughts were scattered everywhere. Trying to focus on many things at once. I had been running around all day, too many obligations.

I sat down and observed the distraction. From different angles. Differentiating.

Little by little, it condensed into a narrowed focus. Alright.

But again, there was some unease. The thoughts were flying too fast.

Okay — I observe it and sit with it…

s l o w i n g
d  o  w  n

…

e v e n

m o r e

s l o w l y

…

Mind at ease.

…

Onto the body. Releasing tension, …

First the shoulders,

Then the legs,

Then the neck,

Arms

Fingers

I grounded myself, gathered myself. I became present.

I said to myself — now I am here.

I prayed gratefully. 🙏

Just as a person maintains personal hygiene in the physical world, one should also maintain hygiene in the mental world.

How often and in what ways do you take care of your mental health?

I feel a bit tired
It was a full day
But I still feel a need
To create, to produce
Something

In the past
This was expressed
Through computer programs
But nowadays
Free flow text
Helps me truly express

I haven’t learned drawing
Nor playing music
But my thoughts
My feelings
I express through text

It is a form of excitement
Not sexual, but a creative one
It is in my belly
Circling around
Waiting to be unleashed
So that the Gestalt may close
Making room for a new one

Sitting with it
While at the same time writing this
Awareness and integration
Leading towards completion

I am not rushing to complete it
I just sit with it
Embrace it
Feel it
Enjoy it
While it is here

…pause…

I close my eyes
Sat with it for a while
It’s like a shower of sparks

I imagined how
I spread these sparks
Around my environment
Bringing joy and excitement
To the people around me

With God’s prayer
And gratitude
I enjoy my joy
Selflessly

It is what
Spreading love
Is all about

In the past few months, I’ve been attending a Coaching Workshop at Automattic, organized by our great Learn team.

We used CfT as a learning resource, but in my experience, the best learning came during the sessions, gently guided by the facilitator.

As time went on, I came up with a grounding ritual that I kept telling myself before the sessions. I found it useful to myself, so I will share it here.

Continue reading “Coaching grounding ritual” →

An internal dialogue:


Topdog: People are not generally aware
Underdog (the asker within): Why?
Topdog: Why do you need the justification?
Underdog: OK [but you may be wrong]
Topdog: [sigh] OK… [but I also feel the self-doubt]
(topdog/underdog cycle breaks with that feeling ack)
B: Deep awareness leads to compassion [just constructed this argument, but I already had certainty about it]
B: They mostly understand it conceptually, not experientally, for if it was experiental, they’d be grounded and not stuck in superiority complex or other loops
M: OK, that checks

…

M: Doesn’t this help you with your superiority complex, too though?
B: No, compassion first. But it does help my need to understand. Still need that… And it also helps against introjecting wrong stuff
M: Becoming rigid?
B: Selective
M: Objective
B: Subjective
M: *random arg*
B: The beauty of arguments, endless loops and cycles. But it still somehow provided clarity. I feel integrated.
M: Some tension, but this was constructive
B: Handshake. From self-doubt to bigger certainty through real contact